Kia orana everyone
(Hello – from my Cook Island Heritage)
Wow, December seems full on in our house. I don’t know about yours but with sports summer tournaments, a daughter reaching her potential at gymnastics (this is amazing …. but… she needs to be there for 12 hours a week for practice). My son, whose made the under 15 Hawkes Bay Volley Ball squad. And whose dropping and picking them up? Good old Mum /Dad/Uncle/Aunty. Its pretty full on! That
James Uri
East Coast Regional Coordinator
027 204 6908
and prep for Christmas is always crazy. I hope things at your house aren’t so crazy.
I was lucky to have been a part of the Family Fun Day in Gisborne and Napier. It was great to meet Caregivers up in Tairawhiti area. Put it in your diary that I’ll be up there on the 7th December. Sally Moffatt, our Training Programme Manager, is doing a workshop on ‘What’s behind the Behaviour’. Jump on this link to find out more and register. I’d love to catch up with you.
Going forward, I’m really looking forward to meeting you, caregivers in our region. I’d be interested to hear your views on how we can come together. I know its beneficial when we as caregivers talk and share our journey, so we can learn from each other. Remember, if you need support, advice, or just a coffee, I’m just a phone call away. I’m quite new at the role, but with help and support from good people I know we can do great things.
During the month of November, I’ve spent a lot of time training and learning about ‘Foundations For Attachment”. This is the framework that informs the practice and work of Caring Families Aotearoa. Have you heard about it? Using the attitude of P.A.C.E? (playfulness / acceptance /curiosity /empathy). This has really changed the way I parent the children in my care. Hopefully at a later stage I would love to bring what I have learnt and share it at workshops with you all.
A big tip around holiday times that Jessica and I learnt the hard way (don’t be like us!) is to not threaten tamariki with trauma, to take away their items (especially if they’ve been given as gifts!). Hey, truly, it does not work. It makes the situation worse, behaviours worsen and you get into a stand-off. Now, I’ve learnt it’s the difference between guilt and shame. Taking it away after giving it reinforces to them that they weren’t good enough to get it in the first place. We’ve decided we don’t want to be in the business of shaming our kids. That leads to reinforcing their negative beliefs about themselves and so challenging behaviour and boundaries often follows. They get into their survival brains and feel backed into a corner, so they lash out.
Anyway, just something I thought I’d share in our caring journey.
Hope that you all have a safe and enjoyable Christmas and holiday time.
Hei konei rā
Merry Christmas.
James