Stephanie James-Sadler

National Support Manager

0800 693 323

The holidays can take an emotional toll on all of us, but our children in care may feel an increased sense of grief, stress, or anxiety over Christmas.  They may pull away or withdraw over the holiday season, even if you are doing everything you can do positively.  Remember, this may not be a reflection of your ability as a Caregiver.  Schedule some downtime throughout the holiday season, and give your child, yourself and your entire whānau, time to relax and recharge.

Understandable Behavioural Reactions to Christmas and the holiday time:

Be prepared for the sadness and grief.  Reflect on what’s potentially behind their behaviour (being empathic), be curious and name some feelings you’re seeing in them, and accept that their feelings are valid to them.

Give your tamariki time and space to grieve. Grief takes many forms and may be exhibited in lots of ways, including:

• Reverting back to younger behaviours developmentally
• Soiling themselves or bedwetting
• Becoming withdrawn and isolated
• Having temper tantrums
• Being rebellious
• Complaining more than usual
• Needing to be extra busy to avoid feeling

Try to remember the developmental age of the tamariki or rangatahi (children/young people) in your care. It will also help you to stay patient if you keep in mind the challenges of the season for your child before you react.

Expressions of gratitude don’t often come readily from the children and young people in our care. Not because they aren’t grateful, but more often because they are in survival mode, especially during the holidays.

I saw this reflection below on one of the Caregiver facebook pages I’m linked into and really liked it.  It’s a good read.  Reflect on it as you walk in this knowledge over the Christmas and New Year period.

Thanks for the amazing, selflessness you’ve shown this year to keep you, all those attached to your family and whānau doing the best that you all can.

Meri Kirihimete

Stephanie